


The Dragonborn Law of Universal Gravitation

by Tanachvil



Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Community: skyrimkinkmeme, Crack, Dragonborn science, For Science!, Gen, Skyrim Kink Meme, Snippet, minifill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-05-15
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:47:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24206146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tanachvil/pseuds/Tanachvil
Summary: The Dragonborn is curious, has a fertile imagination and absolutely no sense of self preservation.Lydia... Lydia is a hundred percent done.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 18





	The Dragonborn Law of Universal Gravitation

**Author's Note:**

> This was a minifill for a prompt in the Skyrim Kink Meme, ages ago.   
> It's just a super short and silly thing written for fun and sounds more like a script than a story. In my head I have this scene absolutely playing out in front of me, I hope you will too!

"But, why?"

"No! Absolutely no! Nope. Nid!"

"But... come ooon, Lydia! It will be fun!"

"It will not. It was not, last time, and you... You have to stop doing that!"

"Why? I like it."

"Like you _liked_ how warm and fierce those scrolls made you feel?"

"Oh, yeah... too bad J'Zargo didn't make others..."

"They were... Wrong. Just wrong. The mage was trying to kill you, I tell you..."

"He was not! He was experimenting and I helped! After all... I'm Dunmer, I don't care much about a little flame"

"But I _do_!"

"Then stay back and stop being so reckless! You always walk in front of me, always in the way of my spells... Sometimes, Lydia I think you have a death wish..."

"I have a death wish? I HAVE A DEATH WISH?! Remember me, please... Who's the one who said _Let's see if chaurus eggs have some cool effects_ , before EATING one?"

"They do have cool effects!"

"They're poisonous!"

"Exactly!"

"You have to stop doing that... really, I... I can't take it anymore."

"Oh, Lydia... I'm touched. You worry about me. But, really, there is nothing to worry about. I'm just doing this to... test a theory!"

"A theory, uh? What theory? You want to see if a thing dropped from _really_ high up falls down to the ground _really_ hard?   
Spoiler alert, my Thane: it does! It's not a theory, it's a _fact_. Things fall to the ground. People fall to the ground. The ground... It's not a thing that needs testing! It's not like you need a scientific team of thinkers and philosophers to discover that!"

"But... Think about it... why the ground? And are we attracted faster to it the more we fall? And what if I jumped and you threw a rock beside me at the same time? Would we hit ground at the same time? I want to _know_ , Lydia!"

"No you don't! You'd be dead and you wouldn't know!"

"Not if I used the Shout!"

"But then you wouldn't be falling at the same speed, and the experiment would be invalidated... I can't believe I'm discussing this."

"You see? Discussion! Experiment! You want to know too!"

"I don't! I don't care! Nobody cares! What importance could it have? Things fall down fast! Congratulation Dragonborn! You really had a philosophical breakthrough!"

"I still think there could be something... I don't know... About the way we experience the same attraction to the..."

"The only attraction you experience is towards certain death!"

"Not true. I'm alive. And it also takes significantly less time to get down to Whiterun-"

"For you! I still have to climb down those 7000 steps, you know? And with all your useless junk in my backpack!"

"Oh, well, Lydia, after all what did you say to me when we first met? _I am sworn to carry your burdens._ Thanks!   
Beware! Beware! The Dragonborn comes!"


End file.
